Debunking Common Elopement Myths & Misconceptions
Elopements have changed so much in just the last few years. There’s a lot of myths about what adventure elopements actually are and what all they entail. This blog goes over 10 of the most common myths about elopements and why they’re not true.
Elopement Myth #1: You don’t tell anyone that you’re eloping.
Answer: The easiest way to answer this is that you can tell people that you’re eloping. If you want to. By no means do you have to tell anyone, but the “new norm” is that elopements are not something you run off and do and don’t tell people about.
This is still your wedding day - you’re just choosing to make it a celebration centered completely around the two of you.
Not everyone in your life may understand why you don’t want a traditional wedding. You may feel pressure from people in your life to not elope or to still try to do things in a way that isn’t true to you.
By eloping, you may feel like you’re making a selfish decision, but that’s okay! You’re allowed to be selfish - it’s YOUR wedding. I’m here to advocate for you and help plan your dream day - not your mom’s, dad’s, aunt’s, cousin’s, or grandma’s dream day.
If you do want to tell people beforehand - have a plan for how to tell them if you think they may have have a hard time understanding the route you’ve chosen. Talk to your friends and family and explain why having an elopement means so much to you two.
If you need help finding the right words to tell them or knowing when to - I’m here to help with that too.
Elopement Myth #2: It’s a super quick day that’s max 1-2 hours where you just have a short ceremony & a few photos.
Answer: Not. At. All.
Adventure elopements can (& should) be an ALL DAY experience - sometimes even multiple days!
This goes back to how the idea of elopements has changed so much. This is not a rushed day that you’re trying to get over with quick and just sign some papers. When you have an adventure elopement, you’re creating your dream experience.
There are so many options to make it an unforgettable time that encompasses exactly who you & your partner are. Picture the best, adventure-filled day that you can and let’s turn it into your wedding day.
And this isn’t a day that’s just about getting pretty photos - this is about the entire experience.
From getting ready together, hiking before the sunrise, having a picnic at the top, saying your vows at your dream location, drinking champagne watching the sunset, to closing the day with a star-filled night sky.
I’m here to help you two map out and plan the best day ever and show you what elopements are truly all about.
Elopement Myth #3: You can’t include your friends & family in your day.
Answer: Nope! You can include whoever you want at your elopement.
Most typically, elopements are anywhere from 2-20 people, give or take.
This is probably one of the most beautiful aspects of eloping. Something that not everyone will tell you, but I’m here to advocate for - no one deserves to be at your wedding if you don’t want them there. This is not about throwing a party for other people or feeling obligated to invite relatives you hardly know.
Your elopement day should be a safe space where you and your partner can be your complete, authentic selves.
If you do decide you want to include those closest to you in your day, you have a lot of options and unique things you can do. Your family/friends can come along for the whole day and be there when you say “I do” or just include them in part of your day and they’ll be waiting back at your Airbnb to enjoy dinner together. You can FaceTime your best friend while you get ready or Zoom-In (signal permitting) those that couldn’t come along.
At the end of the day, it’s about whatever and whoever will make you and your love feel the most happy and complete on the day you get married.
Elopement Myth #4: You have to be an avid hiker to access somewhere beautiful for your day.
Answer: Not true!
Fun Fact - Horseshoe Bend, one of the most popular elopement locations in Arizona with breathtaking views (where this photo was taken), is only about a 25 minute, easy walk to the edge.
There are truly endless spots all across the U.S. that have beautiful views that are easily accessible. Whether you’re looking for an easy, moderate, or challenging hike - we can find a location that’s the right fit for you and your partner.
Think about your comfort level and what would be the most fun and memorable for your day. OR you don’t even have to include any type of hike!
How about renting a 4x4 and going off-roading or having a private helicopter tour to a remote location?
There’s options and places no matter your adventure level.
An important note to keep in mind: The easier the hike and more popular/accessible the location - the more likely there will be people at your elopement location. Which isn’t necessarily a bad thing! It’s pretty fun hiking up to a spot with a couple and all the passerby are congratulating you and excited to see you two in your wedding attire. If you’re wanting to stay more secluded and not run into many crowds though - we may want to explore a variety of locations.
I’ll help you navigate what would be the best option for your day and whatever you choose, it’s going to be an unforgettable experience.
Are you drawn to the epic landscapes of Horseshoe Bend? Check out my blog post: How to Elope at Horseshoe Bend.
Elopement Myth #5: Elopements are spur of the moment & you don’t plan much out.
Answer: When people hear “elopement” they naturally think of a couple running off and getting married one weekend and not taking a second to think about it.
Nope!
*Majority* of the couples I work with start planning their elopement anywhere from 3-8 months out (sometimes a little longer and sometimes a little less - in the world of COVID, planning has been very different recently).
This is an intentional day that you and your partner are creating. Just because it doesn’t fit the standard of a “traditional” wedding, doesn’t mean you’re putting any less thought, feelings, or love into it.
You still have to choose what you’re going to wear, if you want florals, WHERE you’re going to elope, what you want to include in your day and who you want to capture it all!! (Among so many other things).
The best part about all of this though - these are all decisions just focused around the two of you. You’re not throwing a party for other people, which already makes the planning process a lot less stressful.
Something to keep in mind: Plans change and you may decide last minute that you don’t want to have a traditional wedding so in less than a month we plan your elopement. This doesn’t mean your day will have any less thought put into it!!
If you ask me though, if you know you want to elope - don’t wait to plan it. Enjoy the process and the excitement leading up to it.
And you won’t be planning it alone - I’ll be here to help you every step of the way. Part of what comes along with choosing me as your elopement photographer is I walk you through the whole process. From location scouting for you, helping choose what spot is right for each part of the day, crafting the timeline for the day, giving you a detailed packing list, recommendations for other vendors to work with - we’re in this together & it’s going to be an amazing adventure.
Elopement Myth #6: You have to go outside your city/state to have a memorable adventure elopement.
Answer: If you’ve been to Arizona, you know this isn’t true!
Look, you have SO many options when it comes to where you can elope. Whether you want a day trip, weekend trip, or week-long trip - you can go just about anywhere.
As adventure elopements grow in popularity, you’ll see more and more couples making the conscious decision to elope. Which is so exciting!!
But what I want to keep at the forefront of why I’m so passionate about elopements is that by eloping, it gives you & your partner the freedom to do whatever you want. However you want. Wherever you want. I will always be an advocate of that for you.
Just because someone else’s idea of a memorable elopement is going across the country, or out of the country - doesn’t mean you have to too.
I can help you decide what type of environment/nature you want to be surrounded by when you say your vows.
If you want to stay close to home, you can!
What’s a spot that when you think of saying “I do” there, feels like home in the outdoors?
You may not even know yet what location is right for you & your love. We will figure it out though and plan a day perfectly unique to you two. Whether it’s 20 minutes or 20 hours away.
Rianon & Jake eloped right in Phoenix, Arizona! Check out this blog post: Nine of the Best Places to Elope in Arizona for some ideas if you want to elope in the Grand Canyon state.
Elopement Myth #7: It’s selfish to elope.
Answer: Among so many things that elopements actually *are* - selfish is not one of them.
In case no one has told you yet, you and your partner are the only people whose decisions matter when it comes to your wedding. Whether you’re including loved ones in your day or not, no one else really has a right to say what you should or shouldn’t do/include in your day.
A hard truth for some is that what’s *actually* selfish is someone thinking they have any right in telling you what to do for your own wedding.
This is a day that you and your partner are celebrating your love for each other. An intentional day that you’re creating that’s centered around what’s authentic to you both. You may not want to share that with anyone but each other. This is such an intimate day that you deserve to be as open and vulnerable as you want.
And that is not selfish.
Elopement Myth #8: Eloping is just going to the courthouse & signing paperwork to be married.
Answer: This is without a doubt, the biggest misconception about (modern day) elopements.
I even asked my (non-photographer) friends what they think of when they picture someone eloping and they all said “going to the courthouse real quick and not doing anything special.”
Yes, you technically can still go to the courthouse to get married. No, this is not all that eloping is. Yes, you still have to file for a marriage license and have a “ceremony” performed.
Read more details about what eloping entails here.
No, you do not have to go to Vegas and get married by someone dressed up as Elvis (you totally can though).
The idea of eloping has changed a lot in just the last few years. When you Google the definition of “eloping” it says: “run away secretly in order to get married, especially without parental consent.”
Again, this is NOT what eloping is anymore. There really isn’t one exact definition of eloping, but to me - it’s when you and your partner make the decision to have a wedding completely centered around the two of you. An intentional day focused around expressing your love in a way that’s unique to you both.
Whether that’s hiking up a mountain, road tripping to a beautiful state, going to a local park, or eating cinnamon rolls after you say your vows.
Your options are pretty much limitless, but know that it’s day that is so, so much more than “just going to the courthouse to sign a piece of paper.”
Read more about How to Elope in Arizona.
Want to have your own mini wedding cake on your elopement day? Summer Sweets Bakery in Phoenix made this amazing & delicious cake for this Horseshoe Bend Elopement.
Elopement Myth #9: You don’t include any ‘classic’ wedding traditions.
Although I often talk about how you can do *whatever* you want for your elopement - this is still a very common myth! Since we’re throwing out the idea of what’s expected from a traditional wedding, it can be a little confusing whether or not you’re supposed to literally throw out all traditions.
The short answer: YOU CAN INCLUDE ANY TRADITIONS YOU WANT.
We may reinvent them a little bit to work for your own day, but if you want to include them - we will find a way.
Need an example? Having a cake cutting!!
Yes, you can in fact hike with a mini wedding cake and eat it at the top of your hike or wherever you go (within reason). This is such a fun way to celebrate after you’ve had your ceremony or said your vows. You and your partner can just sit and enjoy the views while you smash your faces with cake.
A few other things:
•You and/or your partner can wear a white dress (if that’s your style).
•You can include something old, new, borrowed, and/or blue.
•You and/or your partner can carry a bouquet or wear a boutonnière.
•You can wear a veil.
•You can wait to see each other until your ceremony.
I’m here to tell you that it’s okay that you don’t want a big wedding and that it’s not corny or cliché that you still want to include some traditional aspects.
That’s the beauty of elopements.
Elopement Myth #10: Your ceremony has to be performed by a “member of the clergy” for it to be legal.
Answer: Not true!
As long as the person holding the ceremony is legally ordained - they can marry you!
Honestly one of the coolest and most memorable things that some couples do is have a family member or close friend get ordained so that they can perform the ceremony for them. Getting ordained is surprisingly a super easy process and can all be done online.
It’s another way to make your elopement day unique to the two of you.
Fun Fact: I’m even legally ordained so if your elopement day is going to be just you and your partner and you don’t want anyone else there - I can marry you!
There’s a lot of options for how and who you want to perform your ceremony. Whether you want to include a more traditional ceremony structure, have a super short ceremony with just the basics, or do something totally different - there’s no set way of doing things!
In case it’s not obvious by now... you have SO many options when it comes to your elopement day. Although any couple (whether you’re eloping or having a traditional wedding) should feel that they have the freedom to create a day centered around just the two of them - it’s not always that easy. So that’s why I’m here to advocate for what you want for your day and encourage couples to elope that know that’s what would make them the happiest when they get married.
Julien & Sean had a shaman perform their ceremony among the red rocks in Sedona. It was such a unique & memorable part of their day.
